i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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