from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
