Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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