and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Everything about him screamed your future.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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