he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
