You made me cry and you don't even care
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
