I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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