i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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