Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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