when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
