I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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