The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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