I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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