She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so let's talk penis.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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