He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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