I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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