that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I still have a little drunk in my system
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
