How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
