Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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