Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize