remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize