Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
