1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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