I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
