yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
