honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
