Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
