Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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