I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Randomize
