That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
