u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i believe in u and ur pee
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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