problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
