hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
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we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
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I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My ass is underappreciated
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!