I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months