dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe