PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go