dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.