She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
