i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
