Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
