i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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