Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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