Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize