so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
