you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
