OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
