i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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