Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
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So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
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You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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