I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize