you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
