i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize