i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
