Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
