her vagine was all disorganized.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
