Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
