Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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