Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
