Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
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