why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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