im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
