then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Found the puke drawer
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
