For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
