the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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