i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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